I’m going to give you the cliff notes version as the long version is in my book, 101 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Fed My Children, which I hope you will read. I first got obsessed with physical health before getting turned onto mental health, hence the title of the book! Physical pain was a pretty regular part of my life. I suffered with endometriosis (sever menstrual cramps), back pain, stomach aches, and headaches while growing up. At age 30 I started having a ton of digestive issues. At 35 I’d had it with the cramps and had a full hysterectomy. I was also in liver failure plus a bladder and stomach ulcer from all the Ibuprofen and could not handle the pain without the pain killers so I elected for surgery. Following my surgery, I had about 2 years of infections that just would not quit finally leading to a diagnosis of interstitial cystitis (chronic bladder pain that feels like an infection but without the infection.) At age 37 I broke my back in a hiking accident and tore a major hip ligament. I suffered with chronic burning back pain for years trying everything to stop the flames but nothing worked. I could not even sit in a chair! Doctors also thought they found cancer in my hip while investigating the torn ligament so I got to go to a cancer center, go through all types of testing etc. One test I was allergic to and it paralyzed me and I almost died! They then thought I had MS which lead us on another wild goose chase. At age 39 I gave into the back pain and elected to have major back surgery. Rods, screws and a synthetic disk later, the burning pain did not let up. I should also add that I was spending $400-500 a month on immune support herbs and I was always felt like I was coming down with something and was trying to stay healthy. I can’t tell you the number of issues this spending had on our marriage! Sorry honey, no new car for you, I need herbs!
For most of my life, no one knew about the physical pain I was going through. I did my best to smile and move on. Pain was just my normal and I had to push through. I had a successful family and business etc. and tried not to complain. The broken back however was the first time my pain was so bad that there really was no pushing through it. I had to ask for help from family and friends and admit that I was not doing so great. That was hard! It was time to really fix myself. I needed to stop band-aiding all the physical problems.
Just before turning 40, I found a doctor who told me all my pain was emotional. I thought he was crazy! I thought the pain was all physical. I did break my back after all. I was desperate for help and told him I’d be happy to explore my emotions with him if that could help me. I didn’t realize I was committing to 1-3 expensive visits per week for almost a year, pulling all the skeletons out of my closet and going through cases of tissue plus filling 4 journals with all the emotions I had stuffed in me. The amazing news is that this process cured my back pain! That was a HUGE blessing! It really gave me my life back and I’ll be forever grateful for that.
I wanted more however. Not more emotional drilling but a better life! Emotionally I still felt “mad, bad, and sad” and I wanted to feel happy instead. I was so tired of trying to be happy! Sometimes I felt okay but mostly I didn’t and I really wanted to. I said positive affirmations for 20 years, “I am happy, I am healthy, I am terrific!” It really didn’t help. Sadly, I blamed my mad, bad, sad feelings on others. If they would just x,y,z then I’d be happy. I was not willing to see that I was the one that needed changing. Thankfully God had a plan to transform me. Enter PSYCH-K and the subconscious mind.