“Balance my darling, balance is not letting anybody love you less than you love yourself. That’s what balance is.” Yes that’s one of my favorite lines from the movie Eat. Pray, Love. Here is the clip if you want to see it. You might have to see the movie to understand what’s going on in this clip however. I had not thought too much about this definition from the movie in the past. Loving yourself is definitely a key to finding balance. And it’s true, when you love yourself and see your greatness, you are only comfortable around people who treat you the way you feel. I guess that also explains why people who were raised in an abusive home tend to find abusive relationships. It’s not what they want but it’s what they feel comfortable around because of how they feel about themselves.

I love the photo of the balancing rocks. I think I’m going to make one in my yard! There is not one right way to balance. We are all different and different things make us feel balanced. I feel more balanced when I take time for myself. If I fill my internal bank account, I have “money” to spend. If I’m always spending and not “refilling my bank account,” I can no longer spend for myself or for others. If I run a deficit, it takes even longer to break even. One thing that helps me feel balanced the most is being outside in my garden. I love growing my own food and flowers and just enjoying nature. I also feel balanced when I work a reasonable amount of hours instead of working all the time.

The very best way I find balance is to change my perception. Some of my perceptions were not what I wanted them to be. How I was seeing myself and others was causing me pain. The story I was telling myself was not even true. My story was just my conscious mind making up the best narrative it could to protect my underlying negative beliefs that I could not even see. The most transformative thing I’ve changed in my perception is my self-esteem. When you love yourself, everything else changes. You mirror love instead of fear and worry and that love comes right back. My definition of balance is close to the movie script. Balance is loving yourself so much that everyone and everything you attract is love. Now that’s a beautiful life!

What’s your definition of balance and how do you find it?