I’m out watering the new flowerbed in the backyard the other day and I see my husband dragging a pallet past me. I ask, “What cha doing?” He looks at me and says nothing. I say, “what… why aren’t you answering me? What are you doing?” He pauses for about 3 seconds and says, “do I have to tell you everything?” That was not the response I was expecting. This had happened before and I had analyzed his response and thought, “what a jerk! I was just curious. Not sure why he can’t tell me what he’s doing. I wonder why he’s so rude to me…” and the chatter in my head would go on and on making a mountain out of a mole hill. Later, he might ask if I’d like to watch a movie and I’d probably decline saying I was busy but thinking, “if he won’t even tell me what he was doing earlier today, why would I want to hang out with him!” I’m proud to announce those days are past! After he answered me, “do I have to tell you everything,” I froze in my tracks with a deep curiosity and compassion. Instead of what I used to think, this time I thought, “I wonder why he responded like that? Maybe in the past I gave him a hard time when he told me the truth about what he was doing. I think he was taking the pallet out back to pull it apart to make something with the old wood. But it was Saturday and there was a honey do list which I was hoping he’d be working on. He probably didn’t want to get reminded of that to-do list. He probably just wanted to have a little fun. Next time, I should be more careful not to micromanage him and his activities and then he’d probably be happy to tell me what he is doing.

Wow, interesting! The old reaction compared to the new reaction was night and day. But both were knee jerk automatic reactions. I didn’t try to change how I reacted in the moment, I was just different. How’d I get different? I’ve learned how to reprogram the subconscious and lucky for me I am my own best guinea pig! I had forgotten that I had reprogrammed my subconscious to respond with compassion and curiosity in relationships. It worked! Happy day!

In his book, The Honeymoon Effect, PhD cellular biologist Bruce Lipton explain that we need to reprogram the out of date, out of sync programs in our subconscious that are no longer serving us. When two people are acting how they want to act and treating each other how they want to treat each other based on their conscious goals, a relationship become just like a honeymoon again. Have you lost that loving feeling? Either get a whole lot more mindful and act and react from a conscious place, or program your subconscious to support you whether you are being mindful or not. The power is in you! Here’s to compassion and curiosity in your relationships.

Want to know how to change your subconscious? The fastest, quickest and easiest way I’ve found is with a method called PSYCH-K. Click here to learn more.